[from the kites April Fool’s Day 2024 online issue]

kites-journal.org received the following report:

The 2^nd International Conference of Majumdarist Parties and Organizations (ICMPO) was a glorious achievement for the international proletariat. The conference brought together comrades, mostly from Europe and North America, after much planning through encrypted chat that we think is completely safe from the eyes of the class enemy. The conference was held in a room with large portraits of Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, and Charu Majumdar adorning the walls. It opened with long statements from representatives of each participating party and organization, each of which repeated the same slogans. Most importantly, the conference made several resolutions that can be posted on the internet.

The first resolution was concerning the bankruptcy and revisionism of the International Communist League. The ICMPO resolved that while protracted people’s war is the universal strategy for all countries regardless of concrete conditions, this alone is not an adequate dividing line for the international communist movement (ICM), and that sticking with only this dividing line is backsliding into revisionism. While PPW is the universal strategy, a further dividing line must be that the universal tactic of the ICM is “the supreme tactic of the annihilation of class enemies,” as fought for by comrade Charu Majumdar. Participants of the ICMPO resolved to never actually carry out this tactic, but to talk about it a lot on the internet.

The second resolution of the ICMPO was to affirm that Marxism-Leninism-Maoism was first synthesized by comrade Charu Majumdar when he stated that “China’s chairman is our chairman.” Any other interpretation is contrary to historical fact and revisionist betrayal.

The third resolution of the ICMPO was to never read Sumanta Banerjee’s India’s Simmering Revolution: The Naxalite Uprising (1980) or any other critical, well-researched summation of the Naxalites in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Instead, the ICMPO will focus its study on the most dogmatic statements of the Naxalites from several decades ago and promote these on the internet.

The fourth resolution was to wholeheartedly reject any criticism that says that while Charu Majumdar and the Naxalites were real communist revolutionaries who made mistakes, the ICMPO is a bunch of posturing dogmatists who spend all our time online. We insist that reading stuff on the internet gives us the right to claim historical lineage.

The conference ended with an attempt to sing the Internationale, made difficult by the fact that most participants did not know the words or melody, and are tone deaf, as well as attempts to sing Indian revolutionary songs, made difficult by the fact that most participants had a very limited understanding of the culture of the masses. Nevertheless, we believe the 2^nd International Conference of Majumdarist Parties and Organizations to be a great success and glorious step forward for the world revolution.

Long Live Marxism-Leninism-Maoism!

Long Live the Revolutionary Leadership of Charu Majumdar!

Long Live the Supreme Tactic of the Annihilation of Class Enemies!

Signed by the Participants of the 2^nd International Conference of Majumdarist Parties and Organizations:

Communist Party of the Netherlands (MLM-Majumdarist)

Communist Propaganda Committee (Italy) [Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Memeist]

Majumdarist Communist Group (Britain)

Communist Party of France (MLM-Gonzaloist-Majumdarist-somewhat-Kapakayaist-a-little-Sikdarist)

Montreal Communist Collective (Majumdarist-Instagramist)

Five people in the southwestern United States who are mutuals on Twitter

Someone who lives in their parents’ basement in Aurora, Illinois and runs a discord server